in need for a leave...quick!

i am the kind of person who rarely takes leave. it's like i just dont know what leaves are for. its going towards the end of March now and i have only taken leave for one day. that left me about 34 days more leave to be taken.

usually, i dont feel like taking leave so much because somehow i would "guilty" if i did ( as if lah something bad will happen kalau ak cuti kan. perasan important). but aft being in this "policy" thing for half a year now, i felt that i am already worn out by it. i am proud to be a part of the engine of growth for the country, memikirkan what is the next step to ensure that everything is orderly and all problems are addressed. in fact, i am psyched to get the chance to channel my ideas, my friends ideas, our frustrations and our view to help develop the country. we want new programs, we want to see new approach. we want to propose things to help run this state smoothly. we have our own dissatisfaction and we would like to voice them out because we young people see new things, we see chances and we see alternatives.

but it's hard when your thoughts are being shot down before you even get the chance to explain. usually it's because the people who look into things are old skool people who are afraid of something new, who are comfortable of just continuing instead of improving things to be better. we are led by people who cannot foresee things and cannot make up their mind because nobody wants to be held responsible for failures. we have been brought up in such a system that choose deception over impact. we are forced to focus on doing too much , until we are afraid to do anything at all.

im not asking to take our proposals to the table. but just, have a read and lets discuss over things. maybe i need to market my thoughts better next time. Carved out insane looking presentations with eye popping facts to grab attention. but seriously, when are we going to move from this end. until we are able to foster a sense of belonging, the top will continue to be scared, and the bottom will continue to not bother. and for me to bother again, i need a leave....quickly..