Paradox

Red is the color of passion

2012-01-25T12:54:00.002+08:00

I DID IT!

Lesson learned :
-Color may appear brighter than what you expected
-red does not look good on people with brown eyes
- 6 hours at the salon is torturing your mental and physical
- previous highlights will effect the new color

So...will i do it again? Dun think so...

indecisive

2012-01-17T11:26:00.002+08:00

why...do i always have 2nd thought about my hair color. argh. susah sgt ke nk pilih hair color pun. just go for it..go for red. dont think twice. just try it..atleast...once in your life.

bachelor pad

2011-10-11T11:46:00.002+08:00

received a call to say that my application for my own pad has been approved. yeay! suke tp sedey...xnk tggalkan housemate ku

bestnye....pas ni bole bt buku skrap koleksi hiasan rumah

bolehlah ke ikea (flipshair) sambil memilih perabot2 dan utensil2 yg berkenaan

Longest week in mid september

2011-09-21T16:00:00.005+08:00

APRC 2011 :
Most Promising Work In Progress Award

Bhavanee's wedding :

Weekends :
Memenuhi tuntutan fizikal seorang perempuan. miahaha....

my baby you...are the reason i could fly

2011-09-07T13:50:00.002+08:00

not talking about my beau though. this is my baby, my pride and joy of this year, my sweat, blood and tears of 2011.

check out www.aprc2011.com

7 days to go. im nervous as hell.

EU 2012

2011-09-05T13:07:00.002+08:00

i dedicate this map to lish sebagai guidance sewaktu membuat perancangan.

hehehe....jomla...jomla...jomla pegi....

dah selesai dh masalah

2011-08-26T09:58:00.004+08:00

setelah hampir sebulan battle dgn diri sendiri, akhirnya masalah tu dh selesai semalam.

BEFOREMy hair was chunky and coppery

AFTER

decided to go with a suttle feminine look. hazel base color with caramel background and did a friendly bob cut.

yeay...

there is no justice in this world

2011-08-14T18:22:00.001+08:00

William Levy Gutierrez....
drool*

mental block

2011-08-10T16:51:00.002+08:00

help.

i am so confused... i have to make a decision that could give adverse effect to my future life and future finance. it's not easy, both has it's pros and cons. both could be good or bad. both could provide satisfaction and regret. someday i wake up and have my mind made up. but towards the end of the day, i would feel remorse and again weigh the other choice. i have been thinking bout it for weeks. it might suit other people but maybe not me. but then again, why not try something new, why not be crazy, why not be wrong. people say do what your heart tells you. but what if....just what if...your heart refuse to speak.

sigh...

Chocolate Hair or..

Or Fire Engine Red

CERTIFIED!!

2011-07-25T13:30:00.006+08:00

date : 21st -25th july
venue : Tioman island
Goal : To get my diving license
target : By dec 2011
Status : Achieved!

words cannot described how fulfilling the experience was. and most of all, im a certified diver now! What we saw at the bottom of the sea was so gorgeous. Turtles, fishes, sea snakes, corals, caves...the lists goes on.

Sipadan here i come.

ultimate bimbo

2011-07-08T13:47:00.002+08:00

occasionally memg ade insiden bimbo berlaku dlm kehidupan seharian yg xdpt kita elakkan seperti lalu kt lane touch N go tapi scan pakai kad ofis. ataupun lupe tempat parking and we end up walking all the way to the other side sebab dh tersalah keluar pintu.

tp hari ni, mcm the ultimate bimbo day. td ada mkn2 at office and we sat at the urusetia table. adik jaga katering tu tanya, "tea or coffee?". and i replied "coffee plz...thanks...".

setelah adik itu menuangkan kopi, kite ni pun capaila sugar one packet. tgk dekat sugar tu ade creamer. dlm hati ckp "eh, creamer bagi, susu dlm jar pun bagi. rajin pulak katering ni"

and then dh tuang sugar, nk letak la susu. disebabkan malas nk capai creamer dan menonggek2kan diri depan org lain, i grabbed the jar with milk and pour it. yg pelik nye, milk tu mcm x jive dgn air kopi tu. mcm xnk mix. "eh, apsal lak ni"

so ok...xpe...pour some more. then kacau2...tp stil x mix. fine la...minum je la kan, malas nk fikir.

minum a sip....."aik..warna coffee x pekat tp rase cm lemak gile plak susu die"

pastu rase x sdap ati, capai balik jar of milk td. tgk texture dlm jar...bau sket...and guess ape sebenarnye dlm jar tu. bukan susu, tapi.....

SANTAN!!!

sekain, terima kasih.

countdown to PADI

2011-07-06T15:13:00.001+08:00

14 days to go

transformation programme

2011-07-05T14:01:00.001+08:00

" if there is no hope in the future, there is no power in the present"

engaged

2011-06-26T16:11:00.003+08:00

yiko,

we've known each other since we're 16. ko lah member ak bile kite nk blk ke kl dr taiping dulu. ak masih ingat obsession ko terhadap yusri KRU. haha. even tho ko kt oversaes, ko xpernah lupe hanta poskad and kad bday kt ak every year. thanks yiko. wish you and aisa all the happiness in the world.

confession

2011-06-24T17:01:00.003+08:00

i fell in love with someone who is in love with someone else.

it sucks because i tried my best and he still didnt pick me.

but on top of it all, it sucks because he's still in my mind.

loving bad boys

2011-05-31T12:23:00.003+08:00

have u watch the drama juvana on tv3? it aired at 9pm. put aside aaron aziz who is technically unavailable, there is a new fish in town and his name is johan ariff ( or in the series, botak). the kind of guy i would love to date if (i was still i school lah).

commitments..

2011-05-28T19:30:00.002+08:00

i got an offer from a fitness center for "free trial". i decided to just check it out and see what it can offer me. yup, definitely the center has great facilities, free flow cafe, steam room, hunky personal trainers and whatnots.

they also did a pre check up on my health and shit. they weigh me, and calculated my fats, liquid content and all other alien health terms. it turned out my weigh is 50.7 kg. ofcourse its not the perfect weight, but it's not that bad. terlebih 1-2kg je. what annoys me though is the way the personal trainer described as if it is so major and i have to commit to 3 months of full fledge training in order to lose weight and tone myself. memangla he's just doing his job to promote the place, but dude, seriously, chill.

i dont feel comfortable people asking about commitments because i dont like to be tied up to a regime, especially when i know that im not in desperate need for it pun. and apparently, that's just how i roll in real life too. no commitments, no strings attached, just purely going with the flow.

so, taking that as a note, no fitness class for me. the fees are too demanding anw. i'll just go back to the RM5 per entry gym in cyberjaya where i can come and go any day in the week as i please ( mostly xpergi pun). and also, i love food too much. i cant stand the thought of having to worry about every single thing i eat because ive "committed" to them.

nice!

2011-05-27T14:55:00.003+08:00

chocs...chocs...chocs...

2011-05-26T14:33:00.004+08:00

well...im not really a choc fan. sometimes i do have an occasional cravings for it but i never really understood why women like chocs as presents.

today i finally did,

someone gave chocs by surprise. and that butterfly feeling when we didnt expect someone to remember us, but they did, is unforgettable. chocs definitely taste better when given as presents. or maybe, it tasted better, because you actually like the person who gave it to you. *wink...*wink...

hotness to the power of 8!

2011-05-16T11:15:00.001+08:00

dear god,

thank you for creating gorgeous adi putra and aaron aziz for us. plz make more like them, and have them work in my office....plz?

i turned wiser on 30th april

2011-05-04T15:47:00.003+08:00

Empowerment.

relaxing on the weeknd

2011-04-25T13:31:00.005+08:00

missed this moment...

im deeply in love with this guy...( how adorable is that???)

perkara wajib : BBQ, karaoke, beach volleyball and banana boat ride

hope it doesnt stop here..

keep today in mind

2011-04-20T18:20:00.003+08:00

as i never felt so fruitful and fulfilled as i have ever been before. hari ni adalah contoh a very good day, and im in cloud nine. what happen?

- arini terpaksa cari info on lots of stuff, and it so happens pd hari ini, sume org yg ditepon ada kt ofis and sume org sgt2 membantu dlm memberi info
- arini, somebody gave me thumbs up for my work even though i think it was nothing. and it was mentioned quite widely...the value of trust and recognition that people award to you is definitely priceless
- arini dpt opportunity to explore new field, emcee for majlis formal pulak
- arini, found a bargain for my diving trip, BBQ included with much cheaper price
- arini, my close friend informed that she was getting engaged when she was the one who told me that we would grow old together (cause we are not getting married anw)

loving life to the max. rase mcm nk mkn something expensive to celebrate.

another liberating attempt

2011-04-12T09:27:00.010+08:00

im usually positive about things, but with all this craziness sometimes it's hard to keep myself sane. there are moments where i just feel like doing something to break out of my norm. at this point, i just dont give a fuck about who thinks what. i wanna make a statement and feed my own ego. and honestly, im glad i did it cause it felt like i really got the monkey off my back now.

anw, found this super awesome waterfall that has freaking cold water. it just fell so beautifully and there is some kind of like a cave thing you see in the movies. would definitely come back to this place.

would you rather be good looking, or have a good looking partner?

2011-04-05T12:18:00.002+08:00

kdg2 i wonder when i see couples or when i go to a wedding, camane ek, one of them mesti good looking, and sorg lg x berapa good looking sgt. you would think that someone who look that good, would be able to get any good looking partners they want. but that is not always the case. i dont know which part of my life that secretly thought me looks are everything. but as time passes by, i have also met people who have insanely good looks, but have minimal amount of positive values.

me and my frens used to joke around by saying : "kalau gf cantik, mesti bf x hensem. kalau bf hensem, mesti gf die x cantik".

im still trying to understand the concept of balance here that sometimes appears very strange to me.

Legolas wannabe

2011-03-29T11:23:00.005+08:00

in effort to contribute more to the society, i joined a few friends to organise an archery competition last weekend. preparation started from 3pm - 8.30pm on saturday. and the competition took place on sunday morning. i was satisfied with the effort that i made to prepare the hadiah2. everyone seemed very pleased with what i have gotten for them (hopefully in all honesty!). it was kinda nice to get to know people and just have fun in the name of sports.

Trophy for 1st, 2nd and 3rd winner

Consolation for 4th and 5th place

please pay attention to the arrow on the YELLOW LINE. Yup, thats mine!

Glad everything worked out. Maybe next time kalau rajin boleh la nak join lg kot.

Artsy weekend

2011-03-21T17:56:00.007+08:00

"Jika empangan telah terbuka, manakan menahan airnya". Pergh. Masih horny tp penuh kiasan

Producer of Merong Mahawangsa played with fire to produce a movie with that much amount of historical background. The CGIs were impressive and believable but the lighting could be better. However, i was kind of disappointed as the content were not as wholesome as the effects. I felt that the actors were monotonous in their expressions. They were working as a different component that has very average chemistry with each other. Merongs's speech before the battle were not that inspiring, ships and battlescene were not exaggerated enough and cultural influence did not jive in with the real era that the story was told in real life. I know i didnt do justice by comparing Abg Merong with Hollywood movies. Great effort and improvements on the techniques. It's just that, i walked out and still felt empty.

Dance has always been my interest since like forever. But after watching the dance performance "Woman on Top" at Aswara yesterday, I felt like, damn....my interest and understanding of the art is probably close to none.

About 7 dance were performed by our local talents. Some of them kept me on my feet and some of them were so immensely interpretive, that i had no idea what they were expressing. But thanks to Lish for willing to go together, i tried to achieve the Cheryl Cole look of side swept Greek Goddess hair with feminine blue dress for the show which obviously didnt work cause who am i kidding, kan senang pakai selipar je. Having said that, it was a breath of fresh inspiration.

Next : Konsert Wings!

sometimes beautiful things happen

2011-03-17T10:16:00.004+08:00

it was just another night right after work. stressed out. angry. pissed off. Desperate Housewives were on air. and then...something blissful happen. they featured,

Brian Austin Green, shirtless...and compared him to

damn! had to lock myself in the room for a while and let IT all out.

thank god for straight, shirtless men.

in need for a leave...quick!

2011-03-14T14:50:00.004+08:00

i am the kind of person who rarely takes leave. it's like i just dont know what leaves are for. its going towards the end of March now and i have only taken leave for one day. that left me about 34 days more leave to be taken.

usually, i dont feel like taking leave so much because somehow i would "guilty" if i did ( as if lah something bad will happen kalau ak cuti kan. perasan important). but aft being in this "policy" thing for half a year now, i felt that i am already worn out by it. i am proud to be a part of the engine of growth for the country, memikirkan what is the next step to ensure that everything is orderly and all problems are addressed. in fact, i am psyched to get the chance to channel my ideas, my friends ideas, our frustrations and our view to help develop the country. we want new programs, we want to see new approach. we want to propose things to help run this state smoothly. we have our own dissatisfaction and we would like to voice them out because we young people see new things, we see chances and we see alternatives.

but it's hard when your thoughts are being shot down before you even get the chance to explain. usually it's because the people who look into things are old skool people who are afraid of something new, who are comfortable of just continuing instead of improving things to be better. we are led by people who cannot foresee things and cannot make up their mind because nobody wants to be held responsible for failures. we have been brought up in such a system that choose deception over impact. we are forced to focus on doing too much , until we are afraid to do anything at all.

im not asking to take our proposals to the table. but just, have a read and lets discuss over things. maybe i need to market my thoughts better next time. Carved out insane looking presentations with eye popping facts to grab attention. but seriously, when are we going to move from this end. until we are able to foster a sense of belonging, the top will continue to be scared, and the bottom will continue to not bother. and for me to bother again, i need a leave....quickly..

blessing or curse

2011-03-07T12:27:00.004+08:00

i feel sick today.

not because of work.
not because of money.

but rather, because i have ex boyfriends calling me, asking me out, asking if i have a bf, asking other stuff that they "forgot" to ask when they were with me because they were just a bunch of retarded, mindless men back when we were together.

you know you worth a lot when someone became a return customer. but seriously dude, just LET IT GO.

*sekadar hiasan

thinking about having kids?

2011-03-01T13:50:00.004+08:00

i know that raising children is really hard. not only you need to have money, you need to have time, you need consistency in monitoring them, you need to instill proper values, you need to cultivate creativity, and balance it with fun as well. i honestly dont know how parents out there did it, x kira yang beranak satu...mahupun yang beranak sampai 13 orang.

every child perangainye x sama. the same "module pengajaran" that you use utk seorg anak, belum tentu works utk anak yg lain. belum lagi mengambil kira faktor luaran yang boleh mempengaruhi judgement dan mentaliti seseorang anak itu. kalau terlalu dimanjakan, nnt anak tu jd spoiled brat. kalau x manja sgt, nnt anak tu rasa terabai. kalau too much attention, anak tu rasa trapped. kalau lack of attention, anak tu akan cari attention dr org lain. kalau bg pegi sekolah sekular, nnt xknal agama. kalau suro pegi sekolah agama, belum tentu keluar die akan praktikkan ape yg die blaja. so...where can one draw the line??? what should a parent do to get some peace bile mereka dh tua. sepatutnya bile semua dh besar, diorg boleh rileks dgn hati yg senang. ni x, dh tua pun byk masalah lg.

to kids out there : tolonglah. ape yg susah sgt korg nk fikir. take responsibilities lah. korg akan run this country, have some sense of belonging. ni sume nk senang, keje xnak, tp nk kaya je memanjang. semua start with a hardship. use ur motherfucking brain.

to parents : jgn la asyik nk mengadap facebook je. ataupun asyik duk fikir bile nk beli rumah baru, bile nk tukar keta baru, bile nk beli baju mahal. bile ada prob, bukannye nk face the prob, but instead u run away from it dan pegi cari pompuan/lelaki lain yg konon2 lebih fun dr wife/husband kau yg kt rumah tu. take responsibility of your life.

berubahlah...jgn menyusahkan org lain

*entry ini tiada kaitan dgn yg hidup ataupun yg mati ( dengan tgn di dada, dan mata pandang ke atas. "sentap hati mak nak")

sports and fair play

2011-02-24T13:39:00.002+08:00

A sport is an organized, competitive, entertaining, and skillful activity requiring commitment, strategy, and fair play, in which a winner can be defined by objective means. It is governed by a set of rules or customs. Activities such as card games and board games, are classified as "mind sports" while non-competitive activities, for example as jogging or playing catch are usually classified as forms of recreation.

This is in contrast with other judged activities such as beauty pageants and body building, where skill does not have to be shown and the criteria are not as well defined.

All sports involve physical and mental activities that are pursued for more than simply utilitarian reasons. For instance, running, when done as a sport, occurs for reasons beyond simply moving from one place to another. Value is gained from this activity when it is conducted simply for its own sake. In the same way, a sporting performance such as jumping doesn't just impress as being an effective way to avoid obstacles. It impresses because of the ability, skill, and style that is demonstrated in its performance.

-credit to wikipedia-

this gets me wondering....is sex a sport?

benchmark your self

2011-02-23T10:32:00.007+08:00

quote from chris rock ( u can view his series of stand up comedy in youtube ) :

"men could not go back in sex and women could not go back in lifestyle".

if a man was spoiled by his ex gf by a constant attention and commitment to lick his shaft. ALL his gfs after that will have to lick as well. there's no question of "euuww..." and such. yeah ladies, blame his ex gf for teaching him.

and for women, if her ex bf spoiled her by bringing her to luxury vacations, ALL her bfs after that will have to bring her to some luxury vacations starting from that point on.

that's why misunderstandngs happen between men and women, one party is not getting as much from another. its mainly because each party already have some expectations planted in their mind and it became a hampering factor when they're not getting it from the current relationship.

in a normal world, this situation is called BENCHMARKING. therefore if something is wrong in your relationship, try to dig ( in an unstalker-ish way ) what he/she has been getting all this while and although i hate to say this, try to keep up with it.

less ( work ) is more ( fun ).....

2011-02-18T13:06:00.008+08:00

my weekend burned to ashes last week due to work. it was tiring and i barely had the chance to live life.

tuesday was a holiday, but again i didnt actualy had one cuz i was helping out L, punye adik for a wedding. it was beautiful, the hall was filled with fresh daisies and roses but something ruined my day. adela professor ni kan, ( god knows professor of what ) who came to the wedding with the intention to get to know my fren, W. actually mak L set it up cuz professor tu duda and my fren W ni pulak belum kawen lagi. i dont think W have any probs with not getting married tp biasela mak2 ni kan. me and my friends pun had no idea which one of the guest was the professor.

bile all guest dh balik, mak L ni dtg jumpa kitorg and bgtau profesor tu dh dtg bt survey td. he x tanya further bout W, but instead he tanye my name and details bout me. what the hell?? bengong la profesor tu. apsal aku pun terlibat skali. and i told my fren's mom, dont tell him anything more about me. ak xberminat. hengatkan budak2 muda je bt perangai dtg wedding cuci mata. org tua pun sama je. get a life profesor....plz. btw, maybe a tip for u incik profesor, xpyh la kenal kn ur self as professor kalau nak pick up chics. such a turn off. let her find out sendiri that you sbnrnye is a professor. itu lebih seksi.

it just popped out

2011-02-06T22:15:00.002+08:00

what is your passion. what makes you smile. what kind of love that makes you fly.

what do you need. what have you own.

it's definitely more than this alone.

'dont ask, dont tell' ( DADT )

2011-02-02T10:19:00.003+08:00

The 'dont ask, dont tell' policy was introduced to allow individuals with different sexual orientations to serve in the armed forces. it is a non-discriminatory policy that states "anybody can serve as long as they do not reveal their sexuality and do not engage in sexual conduct while in service". in other words, " you can join, but dont talk, dont discuss and dont admit it. as for everybody else, dont ask about it".

in the world of "straight" men, the 'dont ask, dont tell' policy has been practised for years regardless of their age. it is a concept understood without a written explanation. ( for this purpose im only focusing on age 25 and above, non phidophiles, urban men ). at the end of the day, it's always the 'dont ask, dont tell' versus 'tell me everything' movement hailed by women that creates that grey area where people start to fabricate things to get what they want.

at one part, i support the dont ask, dont tell policy where everyone must understand that there is a thin line between what you should know and what you dont have to know.

at another part, 'dont ask, dont tell' became a protective blanket, an escape gate for the naughty ones to become experts in being naughty and the naive ones end up keep believing the untruth.

im not saying we should start being negative and doubt what everybody is doing behind their pretty faces. but parents, wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends and bestfriends all around the world, be ready to lie, and be lied to. "the beauty in this is not to know who is hiding what, but to know, who is not hiding at all. "

nothing new really..

2011-01-26T10:32:00.002+08:00

sad story.....

last week we decided to embark on a new journey in life which is, to adopt 2 rabbits. well not exactly adopt cuz it was suppose to be a bday gift for my fren.

it was literally in grey and yellow color. both cost us about RM100 ( plus the cage and food ). we name the grey as christina, and the yellow one as bill. they are the most adorable thing on earth! but...you know when people say, some things are just not meant to be? this was it.

bill and christina died last Monday probably due to being too cold or...i dont know. they just froze the next morning. bummer...

also..

i thought i wanted to lose some weight thus went to the gym after work. but on the way back home, there was a pasar malam up and running and of course, i had to make a stop.

in my mind.... " sedapnye...kalau dpt kuey tiow goreng, pastu beli ayam goreng, and mkn both with cili sos ". then, i saw a stall where they were people lining up just to buy food from it. it was the Uncle BOb fried chicken stall. RM5.50 per ciken.

but the chicken is really nice. really hot, really crispy, and the best thing is it was pure meat. xde fat lansung. but just so that i would not feel that guilty, i took the stairs as i head back home.
by the way, i live on the 8th floor.

the envelope paradox

2011-01-17T16:08:00.003+08:00

if you are given two envelopes. one might contain more money than the other. but you dont which is which.

you know, it's easy to say that we shall choose our own destiny. but, when destiny presents itself to us in an envelope, whathefishcake should we do.

im fed up of the G that never change. everyone ones to make a name for themselves, everyone wants to be in the limelight at the sufferings of others. im tired of people "assuming" what other people do as if they know everything. kenapa org2 G suka berfikiran mcm ni. when can the G finally work as an entity and not aiming to overshine others. ni tidak, sume nk keluar dlm paper reporting the cream. tp bile shit happens, you pass the dirt to others.

the G should start doing work realistically. we have all the necessary rules, SOPs, procedures, guidelines and whatnots but who is keeping track. there's so much more resources that could be utilised, we shouls create talents, encourage creativity, we should foster R&D, hold our standards and not change our mind when pressured by others. how can the economy grow when we're creating red tapes for business to expand. we deny citizens from enjoying the best and serve them with substitute dish that is at a lower standard. we manage HR badly, our universities does not cater to the market demand, our education system are far than competitive and we idolise winners of Juara Lagu more than writers or thinkers.

today i went to one of the "important" G office. guess what, kena saman. what is wrong with this pic you say? well, first of all, they are too stupid to think of an efficient parking system for the customer, the parking area is never enough. to make things worse, they put up a parking payment system. here i am, trying to get things done, and i have to pay to meet my own G counterparts. and the employees there, what a bunch of bollocks. dont you know how to smile. i dont care what grade you are, people are people. xpyh la nk bt muke bajet bagus dgn nada suara yang menjengkelkan.

i dont know, lately im just tired of the bullshit. xorganise langsung. and xpernah ikut apa yang dirancang. made up your minds for once and think ahead. this time, i wanna be sellfsish and choose the envelope at the expand of the other.

sinned, but sin no more...

2011-01-11T12:36:00.006+08:00

...yup, for i have had too much vacation lately enough to last me for the next 6 months. so, here's my latest and most profound exploration. finally, ive set my foot in sabah. literally, is indeed the land below the wind. breathtaking chains of mountains with crazy delicious seafood.

tq god for super nice ( and sporting bos!) who treated me more like his lil sis than his staff. first time in life i tasted the ever famous lobster ( xdpt nk amik gambar cuz nnt dlm restoran tu nmpk sgt mcm jakun ) haha. we ate at the ocean king restaurant beside promenade hotel, sea of fishes that i dont even recognise in the restaurant. we can pick and choose them alive and the restaurant will cook it for us.

we also manage to drop by at the ever famous Karambunai resort, peeked at the Navy submarine in Sepangar Bay, sightseeing at pekan Tuaran and shopped at the Pasar Phillipnes. and i did all this in one day! So much fun but so little time.

i shouldnt be here today

2011-01-03T13:43:00.020+08:00

for starters, it has been such a slow Monday. Biasela...keta pun kalau dh lama x start mesti nk kene panaskan enjin dlu kn. so skarg ni tgh mencari mood yg sesuai utk start kerja blk. 1st comment received as i walk into the office

".....knp nmpk lagi tembam...?"

great. just great. well, its almost 2pm now, and i still havent feel like contributing much to the world. here goes something though :

Arrival at jakarta. making our way straight to bandung.

at bandung. visited tangkuban parahu.

visited the safari otw back to jakarta. before that we had lunch at Puncak.

scenes in bandung and jakarta. massive traffic due to holidays.

at Monas in jakarta. alpukat putar ( blended alvocado ). me just camera whoring.

this life, is mine

2010-12-31T22:04:00.004+08:00

hello peeps.....

whadaya know ey, its already 31st dec.

it's almost cliche to do the whole recap thing. but im doing this to remind myself of how much blessing ive had so that i'll always stay grounded. 1st of all, there is no better way to end this year than having 2 weeks vacation from the office. and what more, to end this year shopping and sightseeing and having fun with my 2 beloved friends for life in jakarta.

in 2010, i took everything and stepped it up to the next level. the dance, the english play, the outdoor activities, the flirtations, the kampung module, the CSR module, being an MC...and not forgetting, the almost being caught, the scandalous getaways, heartbreaks, missing somone, avoiding someone, wanting someone and last but not least, meeting someone.

there is nothing that i wuld change about my life ( except my weight). tq god for this life. tq for the light and tq for the darkness. tq for always being there for me when everyone else turn their backs....and tq for because of you, i know that everything will be ok.

its only the eve of 2011, but i have a good feeling about it. im gonna be 26, and thats a precious number. here goes my wishlist for next year :

1) lose weight ( by end of january )

2) 1 oversea vacation : vietnam

3) diving license

4) to work in an organised manner

5) to be more passionate towards family and friends

well....have a good new year guys.

Serving My Blog Title Right

2010-12-17T10:48:00.003+08:00

It took some deep thinking to craft my own definition of a paradox. this is a dedication to myself and the coming new year. in this self-obsessed, emaciated clone world more perspective has to be put into quality and not quantity.

i believe that the paradox of our time is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider highways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment.

We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little and watch TV too much. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much and hate too often. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

Enough of this already.

Kl - Kuala Krai - KL : Part 3 of 3

2010-12-16T10:51:00.011+08:00

5th dec 2010

Remember the day you met all your life,
Where words of promises were often spoken,
To be as one as husband and wife,
A promise to keep never to be unbroken,
Let this day be a mark in your life,
When today you shall stand by his side as his wife,
To the ring he placed on your petite hand,
For today in your life you make your stand,
No matter what  in your way,
This two lives will be one;
This is your wedding day.

it was raining throughout the day. but it was beautiful. k.yanti looks amazing. and everything went well

8.30 pm : time to hop the train back to KL
9.00 pm : train still hasnt arrived
9.30 pm : train just arrived

6th dec 2010

7am : schedule to arrive in an hour
8.00 am : x sampai seremban pun lg. lapar gile, went to the kafeteria and ordered roti bakar with teh tarik.
9.am : stil x sampai lagi. sambung tido.
1030 : baru sampai kl sentral.

well, i will never go on a train trip ever again. plane is just so much more convenient. xpela kne bayar lebih sket pun kan. thats all for now peeps!

Kl - Kuala Krai - Kl : Part 2 of 3

2010-12-16T09:15:00.012+08:00

4th dec 2010

9am : arrived at k.yanti's house. gosh...lapar gile from all the travelling. there were lots of food served and kitorg mkn memang mcm x hengat dunia.

10.00 am : time to check out her preparation. OMG...its nice. it's simple but sheek. hantaran k.yanti to the groom was the one in purple, looking kind of futuristik but still have that feminine touch. abg hasan's hantaran was bold, in orange and black.

10.30 am : k.yanti sent us to our hotel and got a room that can fit all 5 of us. thx so much for the hospitality k.yanti!!! in the mean time, linda called a taxi guy to drive us to Kota Bharu.

1.15 pm : arrived in K.B. jauh gile...thats almost like going to ipoh from KL tau.

1.30 pm : shopped at pasar siti khadijah. serunding, dodol, keropok, putu,more keropok, more serunding, more dodol, tudung, kain, more kain, kain batik, kain lagi.

5.00 pm : baru habis shopping. made a move to Yati Percik to eat lunch.
6.00 pm : going back to Kuala Krai for K.yanti's pernikahan
7.30 pm : arrived at hotel and quickly change to more proper outfit

8.45 pm : at masjid. white for nikah ey...classic touch. ehm...kemain lagi abg hassan. 1st lipstick mark on his cheek. went back to k.yanti's house for a really2 gud dinner.

1030 pm : and of course...pic session...
11.15 pm : blk hotell

KL - Kuala Krai - KL : Part 1 of 3

2010-12-16T08:49:00.006+08:00

aiyah....so long oredy never update is it?? yar loh.....my keyboard broken maa..( ayat ini bisa didengari jika anda rajin berjalan2 di low yat )

anws, im actly saving my next space for my beloved housemate who got married recently. lets start with, our quest to her casa...

3rd dec 2010

7.30 pm : arrived at kl sentral, had dinner in preparation for a bumpy ride

8.30 pm : hopped on the train. this was my first encounter to travel the neanderthal way. okla, train is not that ancient but 12 hours of traveling just left everyone arguing about what to do while on the way. btw, i got the upper bunk as well.

9.30 pm : surprisingly, nani, has already fallen asleep. and evryone else has decided to get to their own bunk doing their own thing. we made a promise at 11pm all of us will get up and hang out at the kafeteria on the train.

11 pm : after a dizzy round of playing PSP, i peeked out to see if anybody is awake. the result? none.

1230 am : woke up to realise that the train made a stop at Gemas station. wth?? this means that it went south first, and will start travelling to kelantan from Gemas onwards. i wasnt aware of that. crap.

2.20 am : stil awake and bored.

4.00 am : woke up to a noise. whats that?? damn it, my glasses and handphone fell from my bunk. now it's on the bed of the bunk below me. how the hell am i suppose to wake him up and take it.

4.30 am : still up, wishing and praying hard for that guy to wake up.
5.00 am : he's up! and he gave back all my stuff. malu gile beb. gile bimbo.
7.00 am : getting ready to arrive at destination

8.30 am : arrived at Kuala Krai station. how long were we on the train? 12 freaking hours.

DIVERSITY - super smart, jaw dropping act

2010-11-28T11:59:00.004+08:00

you guys.....

you seriously have to check out this British Streetdance Group called 'Diversity'. ( Just go to youtube and search for them ). They're amazing. you can really see the brotherhood connection when they are together and their show is imaginative and inventive.

I've always love watching sports and dance competition because you know the kind of hard work that they've been through to get there. I love their expression when they win or even just getting through the audition stage. I love the atmosphere of the stadium when they celebrate a winning team. Its very inspiring because it shows that if you believe, and if you want it so bad, things will come your way. But first, put on a damn fight.

pergh......what a relief!

2010-11-26T12:36:00.003+08:00

yesterday was chaotic as hell, but today turn out to be a good day. managed to finish work on time and now i can enjoy my weekend happily. Looking forward to watch Cougartown this weekend. The show's hilarious!

not to sound evil but..

2010-11-23T08:37:00.003+08:00

In relationships:

" who cares less, wins the race". and winning felt good. ;)

food for the soul

2010-11-19T14:30:00.004+08:00

it's just epic...

2010-11-18T08:39:00.011+08:00

There are days where you feel like crap.

and then, there are days where everything is just beautiful because,

chili red vintage bag

mustard color vintage heels

this beat banging

this shoe kickin

and Madcon's tune, "Beggin" leaking out of the speaker

just plain epic....

nothing interesting.

2010-11-16T09:53:00.004+08:00

"EVERY SINGLE PERSON HAS ATLEAST ONE SECRET THAT WOULD BREAK YOUR HEART"

hah...psiko kan dis statement. but its as real as you could get. anw, im not gonna discuss bout things i did that will literally make you pee in your pants as a result from disbelief ( more psiko statement!).

i know i havent been updating as much. reason being cuz i misplace my phone punye USB connector. and now i cant upload pics of the stuffs ive been up to. ( what are blogs without pics kan, nnt msj x sampai ).

tp....last week was uplifting. it was really nice to be acknowledged but at the same time it was very worrying. reason being because i dont know if what im doing is right. ok la, give it some time cuz its still new. you can believe anything, but take each statement with a pinch of salt.

so anw, is it a crime to not have a plan about what you want to do in life. i mean, i often hear ppl say nnt nk beli rumah, then nk sambung blaja and pastu nk anak 5 org, anak nk bagi nama ape, skolah kt mane, wedding nk mcamane, by this age mesti mau kawin already, 7 tahun lg nk tuka keta....me? i have some vague idea about what i shall be doing but i dun actually have a road map planned out. i hav no idea when i should buy a house, and if i did, i dun even know how the hell im going to pay for it. yg ak tau, nnt mesti nk ada rumah sebiji. hahaha...immature x.

being an adult is no fun....

damn paul, is that your ........ im seeing?

2010-11-04T09:03:00.005+08:00

hey.....

smalam tgk cite 'takers'. it was boleh la....typical gangsters movie ala the italian job/ocean 11. tp...best part of the movie was.....paul walker butt naked with 2 naked chics in the pool ( we all want to be those girls dont we! ).

dear paul, you're superhot. if you're reading this, please call. ( yes, im a groupie )

Akar....

2010-10-25T08:35:00.003+08:00

Selamat Sejahtera,

Aku tak lupa akar aku mana,
tak pernah lupa asal keluarga,
aku sedar aku tak sempurna
dan kadang kadang aku lalai.

Tapi aku jarang lupa.

Tapi mereka yang lupa,
ingat balik.

Puas melihat yang jauh tersasar,
puas melihat yang habiskan sisa akar,
puas melihat yang lalai pada semuanya.

Kita hidup dunia moden,
kita bernafas udara jerebu yang sama,
kita rasa bahana metropolitan.

Tapi satu yang tetap,
ingat.
Berani buat benda silap,
tidak mengapa.

Cuma ingat kau itu hamba,
dari mana,
tuhan kau siapa.

trying to stay sober....

2010-10-20T14:46:00.004+08:00

I havnt had much time to update things. mostly because last week passed by so fast. Managed to catch up on a movie screening, lagi...bt pe ek last week? tahla..dh hilang ingatan, tp it was kinda packed.

pucuk mudaku came to visit last weekend. had a great time going out til very late and acting very non government in public. didnt expect my prayer to be answered that fast ( btw, yes, God is efficient!).

tp tolonglah, kembalikan my previous weight and plz, somebody bank kan some cash to me. i need a new bag, phone, clothes, watch and a vacation.

cheers~

why...why...why....

2010-10-12T13:22:00.001+08:00

why unavailable guys always fancy me??
why available, but ugly guys always fancy me??
why good looking guys who i fancy, are not available??
why someone who is good looking and available, is younger than i am??

why..why..why.....where the good dicks at??

I am high on life

2010-10-05T10:18:00.006+08:00

dude......

nothing feels better than the metallic air of this sin city on a beautiful monday morning.

i can honestly say that i am really2 happy to be back. i love what i do, i love the fact that our house is just 5 mins away, i love the people i know at the office, i love the feeling of being adored, i love it that me n my frens are back together being crazy as before, i love the familiar food around here, i love the long drive to mundane shopping malls, i love my faded jeans and tshirt and i love it that all these things that i love made me feel as calm as the waters.

and more reasons for me to love life is....

120 colors of matte eyeshadows to entertain me in the morning!!

i am high on life. cheers~

Pre-practice : zapin.

2010-09-26T00:28:00.002+08:00

when one door closes, another opens....

2010-09-23T23:40:00.013+08:00

hellows.....been weeks i know. but i hav been very occupied with, ehm, life. hahaha...my latest adventure was a trip to singapore. it was a blast and 1 day is definitely not enuff to go around. i was in jb the whole week for work stuff and took the opportunity to hop on the bus ( thx zatul for showing me around!). of cors, what's a trip without the pics right.

us at the stesen bus larkin. you have to purchase this white papered document for RM1 sold by some makcik there. its for the customs, you have to fill it in before hand. trip to singapore by direct bus to bugis road only cost RM2.30.

then u'll stop twice, once at the Malaysian customs and then at the Singapore customs. u hav to rush at both places though or the bus will leave you thus u have to wait for the next one.

we arrive atthe bugis road, then we walkd to the Bugis MRT station to go to our first stop, Orchard Road. lots of shopping complexes but almost all are high end which is kinda different from mlysia. however,when i surveyed at Nikes, MNGs, Guess and other normal shops that can be found in malaysia, the price of the goods is almost the same. i was told that price will decrease excessively during sale seasons though.

but the most amazing thing that makes me go crazy is the perfumes and lotions and shower gels which im absolutely an avid collector of. so cheap!!! i can go nuts. although i have so much of it at home, i borong jugak like crazy. hahahaha

then we took the MRT to chinatown. but....suddenly my friend forgot the way. haha. funny rite. so we took the MRT again and head to esplanade.

on that very small end is where the famous lion statue.

one of the amazing thing seen at esplanade. saw this in the news few months back, but to actly get to see it is nice. this place ( dunno what it's called ) will be kind of like the las vegas of asia.

that durian like building is the esplanade. and the bridge in front of it is track for Singapore's F1. yup...race in the city. it is open for public use during non F1 competition. this is v.different from Malaysia who has a special track for F1.

i had to catch a flight at 8pm so we had to make a move early from singapore. although we didnt manage to visit many places, i had a great time and will definitely come back again.

Pay attention to your dreams ....

2010-09-08T22:16:00.004+08:00

It has always been my dream to do this. i started my journey with that dance. that very first week that leaves a mark on my life. i have always, always wanted to do that.

and this time, i have a chance to do it again, as the closure of the whole journey. the best thing is, i might get to perform the dance that i fancy so much all this while. ZAPIN. throw me stones if you want to, but im not getting off the stage. believe me.

p/s: i felt more mature nowadays. is this healthy??

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town

2010-08-30T22:29:00.002+08:00

"I dont get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when i messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now, there's no rehab for stupidity."

Some Nasi Ayam Hainan story

2010-08-23T22:48:00.002+08:00

“I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again”

i did it. im back in the cooking game. something ive been putting aside for quite a while now.

yesterday manage to make hainan chicken rice. oh yeah baby, and gawd, it taste good. i better pen the recipe down before i forgot about it.

HAINAN CHICKEN RICE ( SUPER HOT )

The rice :
grind 3 cloves of garlic, 4 shallots and ginger
heat the pan, put in some oil and fry til golden
put in the rice, gaul
at the same time boil water and add a cube of chicken stock in the rice cooker
cook the heated rice in the rice cooker

The Chicken :
prepare the chicken needed
heat the periuk, put in some oil
fry sliced garlic, shallots and ginger til golden
put in water ( adequate enough to cover the chicken )
put in the soup packet/bag
put in salt, when it has started to boil, slow down the fire and put in chicken

The Chilli Sauce :
5 cili merah besar
5 cili padi
ginger
4 cloves of garlic
5 shallots
add in sugar and salt, lil bit of water
blend everything together
then add in adequate fish sauce, and finally add in a lil bit of tamarind juice

The Soy Sauce :
Take the kuah from the chicken soup
add in soy sauce
add in fish sauce
add in some blended ginger

The Bean Sprout :
necessary fresh bean sprout
put in water in the pan
put in salt
gaul in the pan but not too cooked, keep it crunchy
angkat, add in sesame oil if u like
or u can put lil bit of fish sauce
and then sprinkle lotsa white pepper on top

the chicken td, after u hav cook in the soup adequately,
can angkat and chop it
the soup can be used for kuah

WALLA! there u hav it. very2 easy to make. shall be updating wif more dish to come ( hopefully ). cheers~

If it's dead, bury it. Dont sleep with it

2010-08-19T14:03:00.004+08:00

Flashes of memories triggered as i walked past him. Remembered vividly when we first met. He was average, not the one that i wuld go for. but there's something about him that magnetically annoys me.

he was the classic ugly duckling story, broke, angry, discriminated and ignored. His dirty blonde hair and deep blue eyes personifies gentleness but being "light" denies him of the pain he endures, thus he put on on a mask to cynic the world. Provocative much, he spoke of reality like no other. Unraveling issues discussed behind closed doors, issues that were denied for it's ugly truth.

I needed that cynical view. i needed that splash of ego to rough me up. weirdly enough, i needed to offense the world.

but like all them other tales, we fell apart. Hell, i even forgot why. I guess we were destined for so much better. I know it.

Looking back, so much have change since we last saw each other. There was no more love, but this knowing look that we exchange indicates respect. respect of the decision and infatuation that we once had. i have no regrets. the road was just not ours. thanks a lot......EMINEM.

*****
**********

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
Love the way you lie"

wardrobe cleansing

2010-08-15T21:22:00.010+08:00

have u ever had those days where you were thinking to yourself, where have all your money gone to??

i had that today. and i found out why.

Extensive music collection dated since, i dont know, 12 years ago. mind you this is only cassettes and a few CDs, i still have 3 folders full of CDs. Only, i couldnt find where it was.

Evidence that all i do all year long was....shop! and this was only half the bags.

Ok, i didnt exactly splurge on this...it was gifts i receive from friends and family. I can recall each story that lies behind each gift. forgot that i actly had a whole box of it kept somewhere.

this was way back when. I had a walkman ( but i cant find it ), i had discman, and now we've all move on to ipods and mp3 players. sweetness...

confession : i collect erasers when i was about eight years old!! I still have some of them.

i need to check myself into rehab aft this. ive got issues. i just cant let go of some old stuffs.

plus, i buy stuffs that i want but i dont really need. sometimes, it feels good just knowing u have them. the bad side of it is, u forgot all about it and go hunting for a new one instead. ;)

cheers to credit cards and free money~

Bonnie and Clyde 2010

2010-08-13T22:18:00.007+08:00

You've heard the story of Jesse James

Of how he lived and died

If you're still in need of something to read

Here's the story of Bonnie and Clyde

They rob, they steal, they made some cry
Smuggling weed, forged mysterious lie
Had nothing to lose but only time

Scheming exit to an organised crime

7 sins could not describe

What selfish were willing to do

But i'll say this with pride

That I once knew Clyde

He was smart, clean and true

But the laws fooled around

Keep envying them down

And now they're locked up in cell

I'll never be free

Said an annoyed Bonnie

I hope they burn in hell

If they try to act like citizens

And again run the town

Half the people, friends and enemies

Would want to shoot them down

Well someday they'll go down together

Buried side by side

Who knew someday came too soon

But it's death for Bonnie and Clyde

Torted

2010-08-10T23:09:00.002+08:00

Tort - French word for WRONG. An act that injures someone in some way which injured person may sue wrongdoer for damages.

Signs of Tort:
1) When you breach the duty of care
2) The "Reasonable Man" test
3) Rep Ipsa Loquitor Maxim - The thing speaks for itself

Defense arguement :
1) Self Defense2) Volunti Non Fit Injuria - No harm done to a person who consents
3) Necessity

Vicarious Liability - One person is liable for negligence of another person even though is not directly responsible

******
"In law a man is guilty when he violates the rights of others. In ethics he is guilty if he only thinks of doing so."
Immanuel Kant

The case of c.u.c.i and Williams

2010-08-04T21:12:00.007+08:00

it has been a full weekend. still trying to get few stuff on sale. hope that will work. could use that cash for my new oven. haha. well anw, went to watch cuci the muzikal the other day. havent seen that movie so really dont know what to expect. teater is something that i would like to venture more into. but cuci was beyond expectation. byond my expectation atleast. maybe i underestimated local scene. or maybe, i havent seen that much show yet.

the show started at around 310pm and ended at 630pm, with 15 mins break in between. yeah...it was that long. i hate vanidah imran, she's gorgeous! and the 4 dudes in the show were hilarious. enjoyed the evening and im looking forward for the che det play in September.

****

went out for a girls night out dinner. felt like having rich meals, so we went to Williams at Kelana Jaya. havent been there in awhile, forgot how great it taste. we ate,

Spaghetti Carbonara

Parmesan Chicken, super spicy cuz it has cili api in it

Fried Rice with Crab, delicious!

Had a really fun night. well...im off now, to go food hunting sumwhere else.

moving forward

2010-07-20T22:07:00.002+08:00

note to self :

1) enroll in dance class
2) PS2/PS3
3) make over rumah
4) outdoor activities ( mountain climbing, camping ... )
5) aquaria, petrosains, batu caves
6) cooking and baking
7) diving license
8) go bandung
9) swim, bowl, karaoke
10) water sports ( kayak, jet ski...)
11) attend art shows at KLPac, actors studio....
12) g umah izzu and ain
13) certified aerobic pratitioner

p/s : to be updated soon.

in this place

2010-07-19T23:12:00.003+08:00

for god's sake, this is 2010, not 1973. mind your own business. if you're against it, just shut the fuck up. nobody wants to know what you think.

omigawd, all those times that ive forgotten, and now for this one moment i ask for a spare of thought. only you know what's going on.

it was sunshine with light drizzles on occasional days. out of nowhere, comes stormy snow. it was cold, but i had that fireplace. had it for a long time, but i guess i need it now more than ever. im trapped, but not cut out. weather is not what i can control. maybe what i need to do, is sit back and enjoy the snow. learn how it falls, learn the beauty of it. so the next time the storm comes, i can walk through it, barefoot.

the best 2 weeks ever...

2010-07-12T19:11:00.010+08:00

last week i just got back from the rurals. at first i thought "gawd, sehari pun rase nk pengsan. whatmore 2 weeks kt sana". but, it actually turned out quite alright. of cors the fact that my adopted family was quite wealthy contributes to the stay being alright.

dun have the time to fill you in bout the details so, just take a look at some of the pics and assume. haha...

Views at Istana Sri Menanti.....

my very own home made moist choc cake. made it myself

rumah dlm citer waris jari hantu. they shoot it here.

flowers made from daun getah. nice right....

jalan2 dlm kampung naik moto

keadaan kedai di kampung. kalau kedai kt bandar camni, sure xde org dtg

now im in the mood to turn the tables around and improve things. which tables and what things?? hehe.. but believe me, its for the betterment of myself. makes me more calmer.

the virgin monologue

2010-06-30T23:54:00.004+08:00

I will sit and watch the world turn~

Widowed????....wtf

2010-06-22T22:35:00.002+08:00

hahaha..firstly, i just had to laugh out loud. although a lot of times i wuld think that something is wrong with me, but i will never trade it with the possibility to be minah cintann ala sekuntum bunga di taman hati on any given day at all. uuuu....look at that, ppl are talking cuz they dont understand a damn thing. blaming me for liberalisation and whatnots. at this moment, i just culdnt care anymore.

*****

moving on to a different mode though,

************

today im at the rurals. so much for being rural, my "dad" drives a red color lancer evolution, his house has LCD tv, my "mom" cooks delicious food, and i have a room of my own. man....i could live like this for another 2 weeks.

i am always so lucky in things kan. always.... ;) i hope i dont forget that.

Read me wrong

2010-06-05T17:08:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, like today for example, I wake up with a smile so huge that it would make doves cry.

I had a pleasant dream. It was a sexy dream where there was a sexy land where sexy people lived and all they did were sexy things to each other whilst they smiled sexily at one other. Even the traditionally non-sexy antics like grinning with a nut stuck between the front teeth were transcended into a dorky and adorable sexy character quirk.

Nonetheless.

I want to be exploring another culture with activities containing but not limited to listening the possible variations of “oh my God” in multiple volume levels and accent combinations.

That would be nice at this moment. ~

for today though...

2010-05-27T20:11:00.005+08:00

life is fun.

tp hari ni ak rase sgt fed up dgn diri sendiri. fed up that i always wanted everything and x focus utk blaja sesuatu dgn mendalam. semuanye ak buat secara surface atas dasar nk blaja sumthing. consequence nye ialah, i end up knowing how to do everything, but not good in anything. what i shud do is actly focus on the potential area that i boleh develop.

ak rase fed up sebab bile diberi peluang, i took the challenge, tp i x let go atau buat scr all out sebab segan atau takut atau neves atau xnak fail. what i shud do is face the risk, confidently.

ak rase fed up sebab setelah sesuatu bende tu ak capai, xde follow up yg ak buat utk improve my ability in that field. what i shud do is continue to asah potential i.

lastly,

ak jugak rase sgt2 fed up sebab the guy that i want i dont get, and the guys that i get i dont want.

i wish i could have a nice bowl of cendol, a plate of rojak, and then sleep through the night.

brief updates....

2010-05-23T14:14:00.005+08:00

what is wrong with me is that my competitiveness drives me crazy that it sometimes kills me.

lately, ive been venturing into more new stuff that i havent done before like emceeing, being in a play, going outdoors, and organising wardrobe for a production. that was really cool.

but first, i need to get a sleep....

positive tone...

2010-05-01T08:34:00.005+08:00

Life just surprises you in the most amazing ways. I enjoy my life, and I believe in living the kind of life that you have imagined it to be when you are at that certain stage. I turn 25 yesterday ( Happy Birthday to me ). Whats great is that, i remembered when i was about 20, there are things in life that I aim to have reached and do when i'm 25. and now, being 25, ive actually achieve all those things and much more. life just goes beyond my imagination, and alhamdulillah everything has been going great.

the key is, you just gotta push your limit. of cors, we are all scared of the uncertainties. we are scared of failing, we are scared that things will go wrong. but if you never try, then you'll never know. we just gotta let go, push ourselves into that puddle of mud and learn to come out from it with bruises and scars. atleast, now we know one way, how to get out from it. believe that to be at the bottom of the snake pit, is the best form of survival practise for any of us.

you know whats funny, now im in the midst of achieving one of my life goals which is to learn zapin. man....that dance is susah gile utk dipelajari. i think, now i really understand what it is like, to have something that u truly dream of doing, but little did we know just how hard it is to achieve it. patutla people sometimes just gave up. but i wont do that. this is my moment, my chance. walaupun i wont be the best dancer, i will work and work and brush up on it.

we shud just be out there, doing something new. ppl will ask, sampai bile nk hidup mcm ni? i dont know. i dont know whats gonna happen next, nor have i planned what im gonna do next. dear life, you know who i am, you know what i want, and i trust you to lead me to the best road that you can bring. amin.

A long story to tell

2010-04-11T15:13:00.002+08:00

hellows.....

lama dh x update....was extremely occupied wif my new life. sumtimes i miss the my "kehidupan sebenar" ( if ya know what i mean....hint*...hint* ). hahaha. working is definitely cool tp bile teringatkn the late night discussions fussing over the same petty things cm bosan la pulak.but with that oso comes absolute freedom.

tp 6 months isnt so bad at all. i mean mkn sedap2, ptg2 dpt work out, dpt blaja menari and dpt buat lots of bende yg best for modul luar yg x mungkin dpt rase lg aft this. klasses tu biasela, im not so much of a "class" person anw. kt uni dlu pun kalo x ponteng, berborak je dlm klas. bkn paham pun cikgu ngajo ape. bile dh nk exam br la konon2 membaca. itu pun bole lg pi beronggeng. assigments laagii la bosan tp kalo nk dipikirkan, kt office pun assignments ade gak cume in a formal form. layankan je.

whats more interesting sbnrnye is what ive discovered and what im going to discover sepnjang this 6 months. some of it is:

jgn percaya lgsung dgn ckp2 org. kdg2 org ni exaggerating je byk cuz they arent in that winning position and talking bad about other ppl literally make them feel more superior.

im easily distracted. hahaha. teruk btul my fokus ni. i have to find a way to make it better.

its hard not to envy other ppl. i always tell myself yg rezeki di tgn tuhan. but who am i kidding, kdg2 we cant help but want it all.

im oso tryng to get hold of the concept that im just an average person. i can do anything and everything, but im not good in any one of them. i dunno whether thats a good thing or a bad thing. i mean, bile org tanye whats my kelebihan, i just dunno what to answer. but what im glad most is that, im happy just the way i am.

i believe that everybody has their story, everybody has been destined for each hell and high waters and u just have faith in god and yourself.

In full spirit....

2010-03-13T17:36:00.003+08:00

Menjadi suluh dalam gelita
Menjadi penawar penolak bisa
Menjadi penenang dalam duka
Menjadi penyejuk dalam derita
Menjadi penyabar dalam murka
Menjadi benteng dusun dan kampung
Menjadi pagar teluk dan tanjung

Karam di laut jadi pelampung
Panas di darat jadi penaung
Basah di hilir jadi penudung
Patah di hulu jadi penyambung

Dada lapang fikiran panjang
Pantang berbual memburukkan orang
Pantang bercakap lidah bercabang
Pantang menumit dari belakang

Ke laut tidakkan hanyut
Ke darat tidakkan sesat
Ke hulu tidakkan berseteru
Ke hilir tidakkan membazir
Ke gunung tidakkan bertarung
Ke lembah tidakkan rebah

Percutian ke Malibu....

2010-02-23T11:37:00.009+08:00

hellow earthlings....

so, last week was very crazy. we have moved in for good and gawd, i love my room! i have chosen the theme black and orange ( cool rite?? ) just like the pics yg i posted before. very2 satisfied with my own creativity.

anw, keje 2 hari je last week. bahagie gile but lotsa work. friday i took leave cuz me n my family g bercuti di malibu. yeah....dh lame x g vacation together.

of cors at the beach panas gile. ive always love waters, seas and ocean. x suka mandi laut but really enjoyed the view. thx god my previous work allows me to berjalan around malaysia and i have seen countless of beaches. naseb baik dpt bos sekepala, yg suka beach jugak.

our apartment punye balcony was facing the sea, so it was a really pleasant thing to wake up to.

we played with sands like little kids.

and had a good time makan, tido, swim, bangun, makan, swim, tido lagi sepanjang 3 hari tu.

im counting the days to prison!~

The wise said this once...

2010-02-17T09:32:00.001+08:00

"hitherto shall come...but no further"..~

so excited....

2010-02-11T17:06:00.007+08:00

omigawd...me and me hsemates are moving into an aprtment. so, sgt x sabar nk decorate my new room!!! tp yg x bestnye, we all are going away for 6 months soon. beria2 decorate tp xde org duduk pun mslh gak. logically i shud wait blk dr 6 months then baru go all out on the decorations. tp xley tahan beb....haha.

here's some of the pics that i found when surfing around ( in order of preference ) :

- love the colors. very bold. combination of black, orange and red is very....me -

- im loving the wall color. calm but agak skema-

- agak kedewasaan dan romantika de amor. tp plants in the room is a good idea -

this is so fun cuz for the first time ever, i dpt decorate a room yg i own alone, in a house yg away from family and closer to fun. things like framed animal prints, europe maps, tv, play stations, books, unique lamps, perhaps a pet, MUST be injected into it for personality purposes.

man...this is gonna cost me money.

here's another tale about my dull weekend

2010-02-10T11:18:00.003+08:00

FRIDAY
at first thought of going to OU to pick up my pants. but, due to change of plans i just went to me cousin's house and send over the cookies i promised my aunt since last year. arrived home then went out again to hang out at ampang til very early in the morning. it was a really frustrating day so really needed that break to be away from everyone and everything.

SATURDAY
woke up at 11 kot and surfed the net. then had to bersiap as i had lunch date with my skoolmates. havent seen them in a while. took half and hour just to figure out what to wear. hehe. so, bile smp OU they all x sampai lg. i walked around and knowing me, of cors i bought some stuff while waiting for them. at last, they arrived an hour late dr yg dijanjikan. puaka punye frens.

we ate at chillis ( thx meghi! ) for like 3 hours kot duk berborak x habis2. pastu kitorg temankn one of our frens beli his broadband. our next agenda is utk berbowling kt OU. never played at OU before. the lane x best sgt, licin and the balls pun were slippery. score pun mcm hampagas je. but we had a great laugh. dh habis main bowling g beli ice cream at mcd and duk tepi escalator berborak lagi smp kul 11 malam, iaitu kedai2 kt OU pun dh tutup. then we decided to go to a mamak nearby and sambung lagi berborak. arrived home at 2am and slept at 3.

SUNDAY
woke up at 12pm. tgk2 me mom dh cook delicious lunch so, ape lg, mkn lunch trus. tgh lepak2, me dad ajak pick up my sis at tuition pastu go shopping. and yes, i bought more stuff. bought a dark green hand bag, supercool gile. that night went back to puchong ready for work.

MONDAY
bole pulak my car punye bateri dies on me today. hampasss.....so much for my plans to be executed. end up tido sepanjang hari. at night, en.kamarul called ajak lepak cuz majid is back from labuan. so went to equine and lepak skali dgn juju and jutt. rupenye jutt pun e.l dat day. apparently work sucks a lot for both of us. as usual, kitorg akan berborak smp kedai tutup. kul 1230 baru sampai umah and tido.

TUESDAY
long day at work. 9pm br blk dr ofis. but seb bek bos blanje dominos ( thx bos! ). xrase lapar sgt today. was still in the bits and pieces of frustration but better. im feeling pink's "you make me sick" in my head. blk tibe2 dtg mood mengemas rumah. tp cuz dh letey, kul 12 dh tido and apparently yesterday byk gile nyamuk and it was burning hot.

btw, why am i documenting all this?

W-O-W

2010-02-04T13:58:00.003+08:00

mind-blowing :

1) still have the skill in maths
2) all those years in university didnt go to waste
3) involved in so many areas of DT
4) in awe of UEM

for now though....

p/s : btw, happy birthday wid!

Just wanna blurt it out

2010-02-03T09:42:00.002+08:00

.....that im like so gorgeous today. ;) there you go...i said it. cheers!

Ignorance is Bliss

2010-02-02T12:45:00.003+08:00

"Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

yup, this is the magikal mantra for this week ladies. say these words 3 times while you're brushing your teeth and your day could never go wrong.

isnt life so great? i guess we always try to play god on life when in fact we just gotta believe and let life take its own course. u just gotta have faith that good things will come and if it doesnt, its only because the universe has decided collectively that the course is just not for u.

yeah, and just for the record, I AM in the oprah-like mode today. haha..cheers...~

celebration.....day 2

2010-01-26T08:56:00.005+08:00

today sambungan dari citer smlm...iaitu celebration bday nani utk hari ke-2. sbb hari jumaat tu dh tido around 2 sumthing, so pagi sabtu tu kitorg bgn around 10am. hahaha..dh bgn tu kitorg decided g bfast kt mamak terdekat sambil membuka sidang diskusi utk rancangan pd hari tersebut. sepatutnye plan nk g p.d. tp, tetibe rase cm jauh lak jd kitorg come up wif new plans. antaranye :

1) g muzium negara
2) g planetarium
3) g pusat sains negara
4) g muzium shah alam
5) g OU
6) g pyramid

diskus....diskus...diskus...last2 decide g pyramid. what did we do in pyramid dat day?

- archery -

- berlatih jd legolas -

yeah....dis is the 3rd time i memanah. before ni pnah berkecimpung gak sket2 mase kt cherating dlu. and then, lpas memanah kami berbowling pulak.

of cors bile dh sampai pyramid, kami x lupe utk membeli dan membelah sampai ke malam. terima kasih kepada bang pan atas tajaan "baju-baju" utk wid. hahahaha...i also bought some stuff walaupun sbnrnye barang2 yg ade lebih dr mencukupi. shopping makes me happy! kami smp rumah pd jam 10 dan tido agak awal kerana keletihan yang melampau. hahahaha....chherrs~

Fancy some cakes anyone....??

2010-01-25T09:05:00.005+08:00

hellows....

here i am, again. im about to report my last weekend, celebrating nani's bday for 3 DAYS IN A ROW!!!! haha....yeah, agong pun x celebrate bday sampai 3 hari berturut2 ye hadirin dan hadirat sekalian.

tp, sebelum terlupe, nk convey my thanks to bang cipan yg bersusah payah organise the outings for us. ( pan...minta maaf kalo ak terkasar bhs hari jumaat aritu. i was hungry and overworked ). kami dpt idea for the cake mase singgah di secret recipe 1-2 weeks ago. we saw a ladybird nye cake, so cute tp ape barang bg nani kek ladybird. so we had to take it up a notch and bought her a BOOBS CAKE...!

acara dimulakan dengan berkumpul di old town alamanda pd pukul 8. our bday girl tibe pd pukul 9 kerana hujan lebat. kemudian, bang pan pun memulakan majlis dengan bacaan doa dan sedikit ucapaan pembukaan majlis. ini diikuti pula oleh nyanyian lagu negaraku dan malaysia baru oleh widyarani dan ceramah motivasi HAI-O oleh k.yanti. hahaha...pastu dh x sabar nk potong kek....i think orang2 di sekeliling meja kitorg mesti rase kami ni samada a bunch of horny girls of just plain insane. but thanks to tokey di old town yg begitu sporting utk bagi piring dan sudu.

so...makan punye makan, tibelah masa utk karoke. yeay....i love karoke!!! kami book utk 2 jam setengah and pilihan lagu2 semuanye yg mencabar anak tekak. range lagu melibatkan zaman golongan 20 sen dan 30 sen, dari english, malay, zapin, joget, 70an, 80an, 90an, rock, pop, indon dan indie. tidak lupe juga, sesi karoke ini telah diselangi dengan taklimat MLM ringkas dan tazkirah mari menyesatkan diri dari pakar kewangan kumpulan kami, wid. nice!

so, kami semua pulang ke sarang dengan rupa bak ikan masin kena siram air bah pd pukul 1.30 pagi. pd sabtu ( iaitu keesokaan harinye ) ade lg program yg menanti utk bday gurl yg sama exciting. i'll stop here for now....and report back soon.

chheers~

OMFG....

2010-01-20T10:26:00.002+08:00

my life so far yesterday....

9.30am : meeting at MOF

12.30pm : Dominos for lunch

2.00 pm : Prepare slides for Meet The Industry Session

3.15pm : Meeting with BUU, BPF, BPDN

5.15pm : Meeting with DT team

10pm : Arrived home

How amazing right...ahaks. cheers~

NE-YO...So slick

2010-01-14T14:31:00.003+08:00

hey y'all....

it was a fun getaway during mid last week to go and watch neyo LIVE!! knowing my crayzayh frens, it was decided at the very last minute to go there. kul bape ek...around 4.30pm camtu kot br decide. hahaha. anws, aft work, me, cips and wid went to makan for a while cuz i was too damn hungry. also, i had to put on a different outfit for neyo of course.

so, aft that, we drove cevar to sunway lagoon around 7pm. thx god xdela jem sgt cuz we were already late. smp sana we trus je masuk the place. aft a long walk, kitorg nmpk queue yg sgt panjang to go in. tp beraturlah jugak. aft about 15 mins, one of the organiser came to ask for our tickets. apparently, our ticket xpyh beratur sbnrnye. hahahahah...sgt bengong.

the opening act was a soulful jazzy chic name najwa. her voice was good tp lagu yg die nyanyi kitorg x familiar lgsung. aft about 45 minutes waiting, NEYO came out looking oh so delicious! memandangkan we are not such huge fan, we just know the songs we heard on the radio. but who cares, the important part is to just scream our lungs out for him.

it was really worth it. the show lasted for about an hour and a half. otw blk, we stop at mamak and ate supper. came back around 1.30am. and yg bestnye, esok tu kne keje. hahaha..well, love my life more than anything. guys, lpas ni lets do more of this. cheers~

more pics

2010-01-04T14:31:00.011+08:00

and this time....it's on food!

asam pedas ikan selar. among the dish that i can cook.

a japanese dish called "bento amende tah". it's nasi, seafood and vege tempura, ada mcm ala2 sambal tofu, lobak masin and potato salad. not bad.

this is and indian dish. it's called beriyani claypot if x silap. selain dari tu ada indian dish lain yg we can choose. makan with tairu and kuah2 lain. gile nice.

ni makan masa dekat italiannies. i dont understand the purpose of this pizza sbnrnye. mcm malas nk masak je. stakat main campak2, nenek ak pun bole buat

ni pulak japanese dish called "okonomiyaki". kalo x silap, it's kentang and mayo and other salads. pun sedap jugak. ( huh...xdela yg x sedap )

yg ni utk hiasan je sbnrnye. came across this fish masa g pasar malam. ada ke org nk mkn ikan warna biru?? anws, x pasti apa nama ikan ni or camana nk msk die. but it's really weird. mcm ikan yg dh kena avatar. hahahaha...

alrighty then....next time around i'll post up more pics that i feel needed to be documented. cheers~

a farewell with no regrets...

2009-12-31T09:50:00.014+08:00

i dont even know where to start.

to discuss on what ive accomplished, what ive done, what ive not achieve and what couldve been done better would be very cliche. but here's some pics of 2009 to summarize my year.

cheers to 2009. i anticipate madness on 2010's arrival.

Pilih, memilih, terpilih dan dipilih....

2009-12-23T16:45:00.005+08:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference

I find myself separated, diverged and segmented into various roads today. There were signboards to lead me, but where's the fun if you follow the lead. Whatever that is lurking behind those bushes kept me on my toes. Yup, i'm addicted to the challenge of keeping a thick skin in a windy storm. The question is, do you accept it as it is or do you take charge? If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise. Rezeki? Takdir? Nasib? .......Damn it, im out. Cheers~

I do...but I don't

2009-12-19T22:07:00.003+08:00

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull:

1) How do you hang on to someone who won't stay?
2) And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

I'm in a wedding mode today. Just got back from one. Never liked going to one of those. Has rarely believe in the constitution. Has made all effort to avoid the topic. Have not met anyone who dislikes it. Encounters countless individuals who breach it. And still trying hard to understand the whole idea of it.

"The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again -- and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife."

cheers~

My dysfunctional economy lesson

2009-12-16T13:50:00.006+08:00

Is it just me or i think my job fascinates me in ways i just could not explain.

The day started with an Economy cum Law class on the above subject matter. Being in this place, I cant help but to think 'capitalisticaly'. Here's why :

1) If demand is big, market should be competitive to destroy monopoly. Increasing competition will provide consumers with options and thus allowing competitors to step up their game and lowering the cost.
Translation : Do flirt around....thus you can decide which 'dude' has the value for money factor.

2) Monopolistic firm cant raise it's price if there is substitue for the goods.
Translation : Jgn nak perasan. there's always someone else doing at par if not better than you.

3) Discriminatory abuse : Different treatments for same service segregated by market segmentation.
Translation : Good looking people receive better benefit.

4) Predatory abuse : Deliberately setting the price below cost to drive the exit of it's rival.
Translation : Lowering down your values and beliefs to fit to other people's expectation.

Boleh x fikir camni? miahahaha...guess this has been a very fickle minded day. Nonetheless, unless somebody put a gun to your head, you "Aut disce aut discede " ( Either learn or leave ). Cheers~

Prefacio

2009-12-15T09:29:00.004+08:00

"I was warned not to come here. I was warned. They warned me. But why should I heed such a warning when a heartbeat is silent and logic is dead?" - al Pacino

that's right...i gave in to the devil. i now have a blog. hahaha..well, initially i was very put off by the idea of having one. knowing me, it would take me days just to institutionalize one freaking blog that blatantly serves little purpose on the democratic process of the world. but i figured that someone, somewhere might be able to use this piece of thought i have. just to share with y'all, PARADOX was actly the name of newsletter that i created during my matrix days where i was the chief editor ( cewah....cm grand je bunyik ). it was one of the best moments of my life just being able to witness my ideas being printed and read ( maybe followed and worshipped too... ).

Here i am after all those years that i have given up in writing. this is just the prefacio though, i am yet to organise the direction of my writings so be patient with me...i am as dark as this blog represents. cheers~